C3PO MEETS BIG BIRD February 21 2002

We'll kick this right off with the baffling pronunciation debate found within the hell that is Sesame Street:

R2D2, this is called a... ba-na-na.

Tweet *rprprp* duup
No, it's not th... I said ba-na-na!
Triiip subudubidubi free plitt
No, it's a BA-NA-NA!
Pirripirripirri ziiip dip
Not what you just said, I said it's called A BANANA!
Zwirrrrrr *wrrrrpp* dipidipidi
Pitipitiprrrr sup
Are you listenin' to me?! BANANA BAN...! Wait a minute... This is silly. We shouldn't be fighting like this! We're friends, even if we both have different ways of saying things!

A deaf chick communicates with R2 through vibes.

Jesus Christ!

After this tremendous dialogue, they start singing a song about how they can be friends even if R2D2 says "zrript dldldlzoop" instead of "zucchini" (you know, "I say 'banana', you say 'zwrrrppp'..."). I don't think I'll ever look at Star Wars the same way after this...

Well, we're moving towards the end of the misery. R2D2 talks to a deaf girl through vibrations, and finally the droids leave in their little yellow 2D-frisbee. Or something. As I said, I don't know what order things are supposed to happen in, as the finished episodes haven't been aired since 1979 (good move, Lucas).

Well, finally we have the second coming of the droids. I guess the special effects guys couldn't be bothered to create another amazing spaceship, so this time Big Bird meets them at the bus stop. Yes, C3PO now obviously lives a couple of blocks away from Ernie and Bert. You know what? If this was featured at the beginning of the article, I'd probably have a wisecrack at hand, but now I'm just feeling sad. What the hell did you do this for, Lucas?! WHY!? Were you that desperate for publicity?

So, which is worse: The Star Wars Holiday Special or this Sesame Street cameo? I suppose they're bad on different levels. The Holiday Special is long, boring, incoherent and stupid, the cameo is just fucked up. If you are a die-hard Star Wars fan I suppose you feel you should see these two abominations, but it will probably just ruin everything for you.