Happy camper


Mickey Morton
Paul Gate
Patty Maloney
Peter Mayhew
Mark Hamill
Harrison Ford
Carrie Fisher
Beatrice Arthur

Luke Skywalker
Han Solo
Princess Leia Organa
Directed by David Acomba and Steve Binder

The Star Wars Holiday Special aired one time and one time only: Christmas morning 1978. Why has this feature-length addition to one of the world's most popular movie series never been released on home video? Because even watching your own grandmother sitting on the porcelain after eating four rancid burritos is far more pleasant than having to endure this 97-minute long (plus commercials) wookie home video.

(Translation: "Goddamnit, Lumpy, gramps is watching his porn again. His heart is gonna give in one day, mark my words.")
So, what's it about? Well you see, an Empire blockade is keeping Chewbacca away from his home planet on the worst day thinkable: Life Day. Chewie's family, consisting of his wife Malla, his son Lumpy and his father Itchy (goddamnit, Lucas, how are wookies supposed to even pronounce those names?) wait around nervously, and that's pretty much what's going on. But if your idea of a good time is watching wookies sit around the house making phone calls, watching porn (that would be old Itchy) and reading instruction manuals, be my guest.

There is much to be said about SWHS, and I could virtually go on forever about stupid television chefs, Jefferson Airplane (as Jefferson Starship), Leia singing a mushy song to the Star Wars theme while on heroin, Luke wearing eye shadow, sit-com logic (if you move two feet away from someone, they can't possibly hear what you say, and they will temporarily forget you ever existed), wookies with IKEA furniture and frigging JVC speakers... The only plus this special has to offer is that C3P0 practically isn't in it, I don't think he even has a line.

This abomination is only available on bootleg, and can probably be found through a file sharing client. If you like sitting on tacks covered with tabasco, you'll probably like this as well, but most people should stay away.

I hate you, C3P0

- Star Wars: Caught on Tape!
- IMDb entry